Saturday, July 19, 2008

We are taking the gods, we are turning them into toys, and we are putting them into the hands of children, or into the hands of grown men trapped in a retarded adolescence. Worship has become a form of play and play has become a form of worship, archetypes and icons at once immanent yet transcendent. Please note: Hanuman comes with his Gada mace and the Himalayas; the latter fits snugly in the palm of his hand.

Who knows, if there'da been a Jesus action figure — a good Jesus action figure, on a He-Man or G.I. Joe level, you know, a Jesus with an eight-pack stomach and massive pecs, money-changer-thrashing pump-arm action, personal stats and info on a file card to be clipped out, collected, and saved, and a whole passel of accessories (shepherd's crook, bread loaf, fish, chalice, crown of thorns, various sandals and robes ((white, black, dun-colored))) — my whole kick mighta turned out quite a bit different.

Sonofa ... ! Of course, why wouldn't they have a Rama action figure, too? Ram comes equipped with Shiva's Bow and a Divine Arrow. He also has "11 points of articulation plus a flexible grip," said "flexible grip" to be utilized for putting the pimp hand down on Ravanna.