Saturday, July 19, 2008

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Well ladies, one way to find out what evil lurks in the hearts of your men is to leave them to their own devices. Tara (wife) and Rowan (daughter) are out of town for the week, which means the numbers of penises in our household now outnumbers the vaginas by two to one. (Note: of the aforementioned genitalia, one penis and one vagina are of the feline variety.)

Now that I've finally ascended to my rightful place as benevolent-ish oppressor, as compared to my usual standing as woefully oppressed minority, exactly what brands of evil am I consuming?

1. Japanese Animation
Appleseed: Ex Machina: A bit Matrix-y, but Jesus, they knocked it out of the park with the animation. Produced by John Woo, some costumes designed by Miuccia Prada?

2. Gun Porn
Anyone seen Rambo? Ho. Lee. Shit!

3. Comic Books
Brubaker's/Phillips' Criminal

4. Making Organized Messes
My wife views our house as a home, a warm, comfy, inviting environment that functions as a safe respite from the harsh winds of the world outside, a place in which we, as a family, can snuggle and nest. Our home is to be decorated and adorned, and consequently kept brain-splittingly clean.

I, on the other hand, view our house as the staging ground, the outpost, the secret headquarters, the Fortress of Solitude, if you will, for the various adventures that I embark upon on a daily basis and that constitute the stuff of my life. As such, in the same vein as Richard Dreyfus' character in Close Encounters of the Third Kind, I am compelled to stack, pile, and otherwise accumulate, throughout the house, waist-high mounds of the various equipment, gear and accoutrements that are necessary for the life of action and daring I lead.

Therefore, I have been busily at work turning our warm and inviting home into a combination Everest Base Camp and Batcave, or perhaps Justice League Satellite?

5. Tour de France
They will be hitting the Alps tomorrow morning, so when I am not practicing, I will be glued to my computer.

6. Paul Grilley's Yin Yoga DVD
Trying to make it through the theory bit.