Dear Ashtanga Yoga Blogger,
Thank you for subscribing to Ashtanga Yoga BlogBot™!
We’re the automated ashtanga yoga blog creation service that makes it a snap to generate those exhausting blog entries, leaving you with more valuable free time to do your yoga practice, think about your yoga practice, talk about your yoga practice, and obsess about those difficult asanas.
We ask you a few simple questions to determine your blog’s overall content, tone, and look, and then we feed your answers to our Blog-O-Matic™ supercomputer, which generates candid, interesting, and utterly unique blog entries that are specifically tailored to you!
Let’s get started! We’ve enclosed a blog entry form for you to fill out and return via e-mail. In addition, we require you to answer a few simple introductory questions.
We’ll process and automate your responses, and within 5 business days, your new blog posts will be read by the ashtanga yoga world!
Welcome aboard!
—The Ashtanga Yoga BlogBot™ Crew
Introductory Questions
1. I would like the overall tone of my blog to be:
(Choose at least 3 but not more than 5.)
Serious
Whimsical
Catty
Devout
Fun
Churlish
Filled with doubt and self-loathing
Reverent
Irreverent
Abstruse
Self-absorbed
Profanity-laden
Filled with gratuitous drug references
2. I would like my blog to appear:
Daily
3 times per week
4 times per month
(Please note: If you upgrade to our Ultimate Ashtanga Yoga BlogBot® plan, you have the option to publish 4 times per week!)
3. I would like the look and feel of my blog to be:
Futuristic
Retro
Slick
Classic
Commodore 64
4. I would like the personal pronoun “I” to appear in my blog:
10 times
25 times
No limit
Sample Blog Template
We’ve included a sample blog template below to help get you started! Simply choose the most descriptive words and publish!
1. Oh my god, I had so much _____ getting out of bed today!
1. difficulty
2. energy
2. It was so _____ in the house!
1. nipple-hardeningly cold
2. heat-rash inducingly hot
3. It was so _____ at the yoga studio this morning!
1. nipple-hardeningly cold
2. heat-rash inducingly hot
4. My body felt so _____.
1. stiff
2. open
3. sore
4. achey
5. strong
6. weak
5. The _____ practicing next to me was so _____.
Noun
1. guy
2. girl
Adjective
1. stiff
2. flexible
3. bendy
4. floaty
6. Their _____ looked very _____.
Asana name
1. jump-backs
2. janu sirsasana C
3. marichyasana D
4. supta kurmasana
Adjective
1. floaty
2. bendy
3. stiff
7. I did _____ and it was so _____.
Asana name
1. jump-backs
2. janu sirsasana C
3. marichyasana D
4. supta kurmasana
Adjective
1. floaty
2. bendy
3. stiff
8. My _____ felt _____, and my _____ are so _____.
Body part
1. hips
2. hamstrings
3. knees
Adjective
1. tight
2. sore
3. open
Body part
1. hips
2. hamstrings
3. knees
Adjective
1. tight
2. sore
3. open
9. (_____ is when you _____.)
Asana name
1. Jump-backs
2. Janu sirsasana C
3. Marichyasana D
4. Supta kurmasana
Asana description
1. pick up off the floor and jump your legs back to a push-up position---without touching down
2. twist one foot and put the arch against the inside of the thigh on the other leg
3. put one foot in half-lotus, flex the other leg, twist, and wrap the arms.
10. My teacher came by to help me, and said _____.
1. “Better luck next year.”
2. “Having a fat day?”
3. “Body flexible, mind stiff.”
11. My teacher is so _____.
1. wise
2. mean
3. inscrutable
4. not interested in my personal story.
12. I am so _____ to be able to _____.
Adjective
1. excited
2. happy
3. self-involved
Asana description
1. press up into handstand
2. put my leg behind my head
3. grab my calves in backbend
13. After practice, I was talking to some _____ and I realized how _____ ashtanga must sound to people who don’t do it!
Noun
1. co-workers
2. friends
3. family
Adjective
1. crazy
2. stupid
3. cult-like
4. narcissistic
